She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
