just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
