My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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