Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
