But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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