with your own penis?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
