Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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