I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
