Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Randomize
