i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize