he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
