You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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