I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
