Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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