its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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