4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
