Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
