I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
