hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Randomize
