I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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