She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Randomize