Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
