Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
