Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
