The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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