Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
