So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
