Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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