i permit you to call me
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
