I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
They took my balls.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
