your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
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