there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
