i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
