I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
