White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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