kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
