yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
