Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
