i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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