this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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