They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize