carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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