dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
