Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize