You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I cut my penus on the lid.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
