It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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