I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Randomize
