I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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