Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
whose ass print is on the piano?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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