so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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