"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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