He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
