he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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