ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
