found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
