i think my tv is drunk
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
