Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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