does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
