i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
