i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
