I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Randomize
