community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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