I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize