6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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