A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
