Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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