mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
