I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
