Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Randomize
