Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
this is an emotional support booty call
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Randomize
