There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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