I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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